“Stuff comes apart.” An eggshell is never going to un-break. It’s called the second law of thermodynamics. It’s also called life. Stuff Rarely comes back together, but it will always come apart. When it does comes together, even if it’s just for 1 day a week, life is to be celebrated 🥰🫶🏻🪄!
-After spending the summer completely laid up from a new CSF leak added to the mix from the puncture in July’s Myelogram diagnostic procedure that showed a mess of issues causing my Austin neuro radiologist to give up on me b/c my case is too complex.
The once confident MD was at a loss going over my results. I had to go to Highlands, NC to rest & literally lay on the mossy earth at times to get strength back. A seizure, a black eye, ripped out eye lashes, hand tremors, and crippling pain, but there was so much beauty interwoven. I filled a whole journal with shaky writing ✍️ about what I learned each day from my slow dance with perplexing, progressive illness. The longer I’m a patient the more I’m learning to get quiet, slow down & listen to what my body needs. I ultimately decided not to give up trying treatment & am headed to CU Denver’s CSF Leak Clinic for complex cases for a Hail Mary attempt - (Nov. 8 appt with Dr. Andrew Callen).
It wasn’t until last weekend on the wings 🪽 of the cool breeze’s of lower temperatures that I might be getting back to my schedule of flat time during the week and live, live, live as much as I can on the weekend. I pray that I hold onto & continue practicing the insights I learn about holding Hope, Acceptance, and undiluted Surrender, in a 3-part morning whisper to the Divine, as soon as my eyes flick open.
Just when I think I’ll be bed-bound forever, I can’t do this anymore, and my prayers are getting desperate for hope- I’m lifted by little miracles. Last weekend, I got to go celebrate the marriage of 2 of my favorite people @alexdemerriment & J, in San Antonio. And with the help of IV therapy & laying flat this week, I got to check off a HUGE bucket list item at ACL yesterday- seeing @alanismorissette was EPIC🫶🏻🥰💿! We had a blast at @Bobmoses & the showstopper Headliner from Manchester @the1975.
After losing multiple sets of concert 🎶 tix + missing friends & fun events due to my illness over the summer, IT FINALLY came together 2 weekends in a row! My mantra of, “This too, shall pass,” always comes, and when it does, “my bucket 🪣 runneth over!” 😂🎶🪄#acl23 #alanismorissette #the1975